Tuesday 29 January 2013

A divine embrace...


In 1997 , I was a teenager studying in 12th std. A happy go lucky guy, I was least bothered about studies.. I visited college to meet my friends, bunked my college more than offen and watched movies , visited  other colleges and just hanged out with friends and had a good time... I just went with the flow and hoped to reach somewhere...

My exams were to be held in march, and by feb I was really worried... I knew deep in my heart  I could flunk in most of the subjects... My biggest worry was how to face my family.. I was sure would hear a mouthfull from my parents and could also get a sound thrashing :-)

My uncle visited us and told about Mata AmritanandaMayi Devi - who is also known all over the world as Amma. He said she is visiting our city and would be there for 4 days... My mom told me, do meet Amma and pray for her blessings to get good marks in my exams...

I didnt have much to lose, so I decided to meet her..  I didnt know then that the meeting would make a paradigm shift in my life...

I went to the Ashram were Amma held her darshan.. There was a huge crowd, probably a few thousand strong.. Amma was seated on the stage, she looked like a Devi, she had worn a green silk sari, and a crown . She had worn ornaments and had the most loving smile... It was her Devi Bhava Darshan...

I was still skeptical in my mind... Should I meet her... would this be of any benefit?  I had a few negative thoughts, but decided to meet her anyway, as I desperately wanted a breakthrough in my life and wanted to pass my 12th grade..

There was bhajans held , devotional songs were sung in Malayalam and Hindi. I sat among scores of devotees and listened to the songs and felt peace which was missing from my chaotic life...
After Bhajans, Amma spoke to all her devotees in malayalam, which was translated in English and Hindi.

After Ammas discourse, she began her darshan... Tokens were distributed and we all joined a huge line to meet amma... the queue was too long,, thousands were ahead of me, but I was determined to meet her..  While in queue, i just kept watching Amma... She was epitome of peace and serenity.. She has a child like innocence and possess  most beautiful smile. She connects with every person and meets them with warmth and love...

As minutes beacame hours, I realised that for the past 5 hours I was in the queue and all I felt was bliss and happiness... In those moments,  thousands of devottes had met her,, some laughed and smiled, some of the divotees cried and sobbed , and they shared their worries with Amma.. She lisened to them patiently and gave them advice.. As the devotees returned from darshan , I saw that dejected  people walked with new sense of hope and faith..

In some time it was my turn to meet Amma... As I neared her, could sense a divinity surround me... A feeling that I can't express in words... And at last I met her!!  I was on my knees and she sat on a raised podium, I could meet her for a few seconds more, as when it was my turn to meet her, Amma was speaking to some of the other Swamis beside her... I just kept looking at her, Her radiant face , her crown, her smile, her eyes... Divinity, compassion and pure love flowed from her... I kept my hands on her feet and instantly I felt like crying,  was in bliss,, I felt joy and many more emotions at the same time... Its really dificult to explain in words how I felt at that moment... It was sureal,  was surrounded by pure love.. The world didnt matter to me,, in those few moments, probably few seconds,, I was into a very different realm, were only peace and love existed.. Amma looked at me , smiled radiantly and I sensed Mothers love in all its glory, She hugged me and wispered in my ears, Ammayude mone in malayalam (My child)  three times,, she looked at me and smiled,, i was spell bound and just smiled back...

I some how came back to reality and realised that I need to tell her about my exams... I sheepishly told her that I have not studied for my exams and that I fear  might flunk my exams... She looked at me, smiled and  playfully pulled my ears and told me that She would take care of me... The darshan ended after She gave me Bhasma (ash) and candies... As I walked after the darshan , I sensed a surreal peace and a faith that Amma would take care of me..

Since then she has always taken care of me, and in all these years, I have been blessed with many loving hugs which has enriched my life...

I did pass my 12th grade  and she has given me strenghts to pass all my exams in life as well...



 

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